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Negotiate Your Way To Wealth And Personal Success ...
The Art Of Negotiating ...
I personally don’t like tough negotiating. It goes against my basic philosophy of only doing to others what you would like them to do to you. But there are times in business when you need to understand the hard core negotiating techniques - either to use them, or to recognise when someone is using them on you. Key negotiating techniques include:
- If you look like having to make more concessions than the other party, try to be friendly at the start of the meeting. It’s harder for them to pressure a friend. But if they look like having to make the most concessions, be distant at the start of the meeting. It’s easier for you to get concessions if you are not as friendly.
- Decide beforehand exactly how far you will concede on each point. How much you will concede overall, and whether, if you concede to your limit on one point, you would be prepared to go to your limit on other important points.
- Consider your limits as your last line of concession - not as the concession you will probably make.
- If you have a team of negotiators, appoint a role to each. Have one to be aggressive, and one to be conciliatory. When the aggressive person has pushed so hard the other party wants to leave the room, the conciliatory person can take over.
- Arrange a small set of signals beforehand so you can express your feelings to any other members of your party. (But don’t use putting your finger to your nose for “No”. It is too well known and the other party might realise what you are doing).
- If you don’t like the agenda of a negotiation meeting change it - even after the meeting starts. Refuse to allow points you consider non-negotiable on the agenda.
- It’s usually best to do the negotiating in the other party’s office. That allows you to get up and leave if you are backed into a corner. But if you back them in a corner, you can stay seated, even if they stand to leave. They obviously can’t leave their own office if you are going to stay. So you can keep them there, ease off the pressure a little, and keep the negotiations alive.
- Try to realistically assess beforehand what concessions the other party is prepared to make. If their actual concessions do not come anywhere near what you expect, push harder.
- Find out early if the other party has authority to make the decision. One tactful way to do this is to ask them how long it takes to get approval. If their answer is not “immediately”, ask them what the steps in approval are. This way you find out who has the final say.
- Try to get the other party to reveal all their demands first. Don’t start debating each point until you know their full set of demands. Otherwise you may make concessions more generous than you would have if you had known everything they wanted.
- Try to keep your full list of demands to yourself (even though you try to find out all the other party’s demands). Try to get the maximum concession on your first point before revealing the second.
- Don’t try to demolish the other party’s case. People don’t like to be proved wrong. Instead, try to lead them to see the reasonableness of your position.
- Play dumb. Give the appearance of being slow to understand. The more you force them to explain things, the more concessions they are likely to make.
- Don’t be the first to make a major concession. First to concede is at a disadvantage and usually ends up conceding the most. So if you set the agenda, put items the other party is most likely to concede to, first.
- If you won’t give in to a particular major point of the other party, come straight out and say “NO”. If you say it strongly enough and frequently enough, they will probably give up trying for that concession.
- Keep notes of concessions made by both sides. You don’t want to forget what they offered. Nor have them later claim you offered something you didn’t.
- Don’t blame individuals in the other party for any errors they make. If you blame them personally, you build barriers between you which reduce the chance of reaching agreement. Instead, blame the computer, a clerical error, or faulty government statistics, etc.
- When the other party concedes a major point, don’t automatically make an equal concession - or any concessions at all.
- Whenever you make a concession, try to get some concession in return.
- Don’t make all you concessions at once. Make them one at a time. It gives you more up your sleeve if negotiations run longer than you expect.
- If one person in the opposite party is too hard on you, try to get one of their weaker people to do the talking. For example, when you finish talking, look at the person you want to speak next. The person you look at will usually be the next to talk. Alternatively come straight out and ask a particular person for their opinion.
- When stating what you want, express it in ways most acceptable to the other party. For example, if you want a quick delivery, say something like, “obviously, the quicker this is done, the less it ties up you money, so let’s make delivery the 15th of next month”.
- If you don’t want to give certain information away, only answer half the question. It’s usually dangerous to give too much information. The more the other party is in the dark, the better the deal usually is for you.
- Create periods of silence. Most people will start talking rather than have to endure silence. So if you want the other party to start talking, be quiet yourself. The longer you can keep the other party talking about concessions, the more likely they are to make one.
- Assess how important any concession is to the other party. If it’s not important to you but is important to them, be prepared to make the concession - in return for something you want.
- If a member of your party makes an overly generous concession, quickly say that you don’t agree. Say “I wouldn’t agree with that, John. Have you thought of what affect so-and-so would have on that idea?” This tells your colleague to retract and gives him opportunity to do so.
- If a particular point becomes too difficult, suggest it be discussed later. Say “we might be able to come to an easier agreement on that if we discuss these other matters first”>
- If the other party is afraid of a risk, be prepared to share it with them. Or even take on all the risk yourself in return for some other point.
- Suggest options which could be added to the agreement. Even if they are unlikely to be taken up, they may make the deal look better to the other party.
- Occasionally sum up all the concessions made so far, but slant some of them a little your way. If the other party does not object to your slant you’ve won an extra point.
- If the other party makes a summary slanted their way be quick to make the correction.
- If the other party demands an extra concession not on the agenda, say “that changes the whole picture. We will have to start negotiating again in the light of this new development”. As often as not, the new demand will then be withdrawn.
- If things get tough, appoint someone new to take over. The side that appoints new people usually gets an advantage. When the other side is explaining the situation to your new member, they often make a few concessions. Also, you new team member can sometimes ignore all the concessions you have made - but still accept all the concession they have made. This is especially so if the new negotiator has higher authority that the old one.
- If a higher authority joins the other team and will not recognise the concessions they have made, threaten to withdraw you concessions. They might not be so keen about dropping their concessions if you threaten to drop yours.
- If you are being pushed too hard into a concession, try to back out of a previous concession. Say “when I agreed to do so-and-so I didn’t think you would want me to do such-and-such. I’ll have to reconsider my previous offer”. That puts extra pressure on them over the current point of discussion. Thus, they will be more likely to reduce their demands.
- If you are losing, do something that throws the other party in turmoil. Say something like “I still can’t see what the problem is”. That throws them back to the start. Or present a large stack of detailed information for them to read. This interrupts the momentum of their successful arguments. They may not be able to regain momentum after wading through all that reading.
- If negotiations are breaking down, try to change the way points are expressed. For example, with money, suggest a different timing of the payment.
- When the other party says “let’s split the difference”, don’t automatically agree. Their comment is actually another concession on their part. It shown how far they are willing to go. If the other party suggests you split the difference between your price and theirs, stop to ponder over it. Say “that would make it $XX”. Write the price down. Then almost speaking to yourself, say “you’re prepared to make it $XX”. When they answer “Yes”, they have committed themselves to that price. But you haven’t yet committed yourself. So you can then try to improve on it before agreeing.
- If the other party makes an extra demand after agreement has been reached, politely reject it. Sometimes they say “let’s just modify this point so we don’t spoil the agreement”. Politely say you don’t think it’s needed. Thus if they want to push further, they are the one “spoiling” the agreement.
When it’s over, volunteer to be the one to draft the agreement. This gives you the advantage to make it biased in your direction in any grey areas not completely finalised.
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